Repeated Patterns

Sometimes we need to take a look in the rear view mirror to receive new insight regarding what has happened in our past. Like me, you may have experienced intense moments in the past and perhaps are curious to view a new perspective on what has transpired.

Over time we may experience the same events with different people. Dealing with an issue we may have had with a sister when a teenager:  now dealing with the same issue with a co-worker as an adult. We may be experiencing similar patterns, issues and feelings.  Feelings can be those of being abandoned, being pushed around (losing self), not being loved, or fear of rejection. Looking back, we may realize that we have been dealing with the same issues for a long time and get discouraged at our progress.

Our personal and spiritual growth is continuous and evolving. We may repeat an issue (dealing with fear) several times in a span of many years which may seem old and repetitive. However, the depth and intensity of these issues most likely varies (we have learned and grown). Imagine being on a tree climbing up. We may be on the same location on the trunk of a tree, but a different height. The realization of pace and depth of growth is a great mechanism to gauge our progress and can be a source of self encouragement (instead of despair at seemingly slow progress). The poem below describes this issue further.

Reaching the Bottom

Swimming at the surface

guided by gentle winds and waves.

Comfortable, effortless at the surface

forgetting

the only guarantee is change.

Change is a means to reach new frontiers of self awareness

we have not touched.

A change in wind and current takes the swimmer under the water.

Swimmer has been under the water many times before.

Swimmer feels frustrated for repeating seemingly old patterns again.

He thinks, I thought I was done with my schooling.

Swimmer sinks to the bottom of the ocean of his unconscious reality.

Nothing is in sight but dark murky waters.

Where is the bottom?

Where is the top?

Bottom of the ocean is further away this time.

Something has changed.

It is taking longer to get to the bottom.

What has gone wrong?

Panic covers the swimmer in the midst of darkness.

Hopelessly and helplessly sinking with no effort.

Suddenly…

“Bam”

His feet touch the bottom unexpectedly!

A sudden surge of reactive force propels the swimmer to

the surface at an amazing speed.

Swimmer flies out of the water like a dolphin

and swims at the surface again.

Swimmer is more aware of his boundaries.

Swimming with expectations of going under

to experience new frontiers.

Copyright @ 2011 by Shervin Hojat

Tend To Your Garden Within

In My Pack

We sometimes are not aware of the anger and hatred we harbor within ourselves. Having a feeling does not mean that we feel it.

We may have learned from our childhood to be quiet and not express our opinions and feelings.  We may fear speaking our truth and the confrontation that may follow.  We may be calm and soft spoken most of the time while holding onto unexpressed emotion within.  Sometimes, we hold our emotions unexpressed inside our body and its energy may manifest into many physical symptoms.  Sometimes, these emotions burst into uncontrolled release and sometimes, if we are lucky, we direct its release by doing something that society deems acceptable. 

We can look into ourselves and review how and when we feel that it is acceptable to show our anger and rage.  Are we angry about the real issue or are there some other underlying issues?  Understanding such insight can help us be less reactive and be more pro-active in expressing our emotions cleanly in a timely manner, which will help us in our relationships with family and friends.

In My Pack

In the dark of night I

peek into my pack.

I have stuffed my emotions safely

into my pack.

Among the emotions

I carry anger and hatred in my pack.

They cover my heart and arteries like plaque.

You may be surprised at the contents of my pack.

I look calm, smiling, put together and on track.

I cannot show you what is in my pack.

I have an image to back.

I have an urge to share my pack

without owning what is in my pack.

I share my pack

for causes that give me no flak.

My pack and I traveled a lonely path.

I realize now that lashing out at others

is not in my highest good.

I am now aware of the contents of my pack.

Learning to feel and express my emotions cleanly

without stuffing them in the pack.

Such a burden I used to carry in my pack.

I no longer travel a lonely path.

I now travel with a much lighter pack.

Copyright @ 2011 by Shervin Hojat

Tend To Your Garden Within

Message for the New Year

Happy New Year!   2012 is about accelerating our remembering of who we are and what we can do by challenging our long held beliefs and habits.

It is a time to bypass the lengthy and life time processes of doing things to give ourselves permission to be who we already are.  It is about changing our consciousness (no physical doing required) to accept our Divine love, relax, be present and follow our heart’s desires.  It is about what we are and about what we desire.

May 2012 be a blessed time for us, our families, our communities and our planet.

Path of Heart

We all have some sort of insecurity.  We may not want to feel our insecurity and therefore replace feeling our insecurity with doing or owning things.  We may buy into beliefs such that with enough knowledge, degrees, status, money, friends, and things our insecurities will go away.  This is a never ending game, since “enough” of something today may not be sufficient tomorrow; as our circumstances change, so do our needs.

You may know people whose doing and having solution has not resolved their insecurity.  Do you know anyone who is an expert on a subject and that expertise has not touched their own life?  Do you know of any healers who have not healed their own pains and hurts?  Do you know of any intimacy experts who are not intimate with anybody?

Our insecurities will not transform unless we experience and feel them.  Our mental solution to our insecurity is based on the fear of feeling our insecurity (not pleasant).   A needle to numb us at the dentist chair may sting for a only second, however, we may think about it days before and suffer more than 1000 mental needles by the time we reach the dentist chair, which is all about resisting the feel of  the needle’s sting.  Likewise, when we feel our insecurity, its hold on us will diminish and we may realize that doing and/or getting something is an ineffective way of feeling secure. 

Inner Healing

Have you met the man who had a huge fortune

and always felt poor?

Have you met the man who could recite all the names of God

and never felt God in his heart?

Have you met the man who has read all the books on love

and never allowed love in his life?

Have you met the man who gave wonderful lectures on world peace

and never felt his peace within?

Have you met the man who fed the hungry

and never felt and fed his own hunger?

What is value of a great book

if it cannot be internalized?

Path of heart is different from that of mind.

Mind pushes you to think, verbalize and do:

a human doing.

Heart pushes you to feel and be:

a human being.

Take off the mask!

Use the knowledge of your heart.

It never lies to you.

Feel, be alive and conscious

through your heart’s path.

Copyright @ 2011 by Shervin Hojat

Tend To Your Garden Within

Bird in the Glass House

Many perceived “emergencies” in our daily life and work are not real emergencies. We treat them as emergencies due to our preference to finish and to focus on more positive items.  I have run into many seemingly urgent and unexpected obstacles which I did not have a solution for at the time.   In the past, I would attach myself to a problem and tirelessly force its resolution.  I have had a good success rate – one can not argue with persistence!  However, that persistence may come at a very high mental and physical expense.  The solution is not about working hard, rather knowing the urgency of an issue and the degree we put our focus and energy into it immediately. Some call it working smart.

Now, if I run into seemingly urgent, unexpected obstacles which I do not have a solution for, I ask myself, is it a real emergency?  Can it wait an hour or two?  If the answer is yes and I go back to the issue after a while, I either have a solution for it or somehow it has been resolved (consider user error, network outage …).  

The bird in the poem below can be you or I in some aspect of our life.  Sometimes by just sitting idle, observing and assessing our situation we can be more effective; otherwise, sometimes our exhaustion may force us to be quiet and idle waiting for resolution of our perceived emergency.

Bird in the Glass House

Have you heard the story of the bird

who flew into a house with many large windows?

A scary new environment

with clear views of open skies.

Confined, tight spaces are not part of his nature.

A person chases him and makes gestures

toward a door.

Bird trusts no one.

He can get out of this situation by himself!

He musters all his energy to force his way out.

Bird tries and tries to fly through the glass.

Each try brings more pain to his small body.

Panicked and out of breath Bird keeps trying.

Exhausted and hopeless

Bird collapses on the floor.

Giving up hope, Bird accepts his perceived demise.

The stranger holds the bird gently in her hand

taking him through the door outside.

She lays Bird gently in a small tree.

After a while

Bird flies in the open skies again.

Did you realize Bird’s exhaustion and subsequent letting go

was the key to his freedom?

What part of your life is similar to this bird’s story?

Copyright @ 2011 by Shervin Hojat

Tend To Your Garden Within

Let go?

Have you ever had an encounter with raccoons?  I am fascinated by raccoons.  I became interested in raccoons when I was camping in Oklahoma.  They visited our supplies one night and had a great feast.  We had made sure our supplies were secure. They kept testing our resolve the following nights.

I started admiring raccoons. I even painted a raccoon to express how much I admire their nature.  They are smart, curious, creative, and focused.  These are also some attributes that are required to succeed in today’s world.

A couple of days ago I learned how raccoons can be trapped.  I was puzzled and disappointed by it.  When they reach for a shiny object through a small hole, they cannot let go of it even when their life is on the line.   The object and the paw around it do not go through the hole and becomes a trap for the animal.

This knowledge made me wonder how these raccoons may relate to us as human beings.  We are in general smart, curious and are creative.  What are the shiny objects in our lives that we hold on to our detriment?  Is it anger, hate,  greed, stubbornness, judgment, victim-hood, self importance, feeling superior or feeling inferior?

Raccoon

I am street smart and extremely creative.

I have dexterous hands.

I love putting my feet and hands in water

it makes them sensitive

and helps me to feel my food better.

I can open lids, latches and door knobs.

I am a problem solver and love to explore.

I hide behind my mask.

Some consider me magical and mystical.

Some say that I am hiding from my true self.

I am extremely focused.

You would love to have me running your projects

I get it done!

I love shiny objects.

When I see a shiny object

I need to touch it

inside or outside a trap!

I hold on to shiny objects

 and do not let them go

which can lead to my demise.

I am street smart, cute, and extremely creative.

My greatest weakness is not letting go.

What is your weakness?

Copyright @ 2011 by Shervin Hojat

Tend To Your Garden Within

Wardrobe Change

Have you ever caught yourself saying, today is going to be a miserable day and you were correct?  Have you ever predicted a great day and you were correct?  We may not have control over events in our daily life; however, how we react to events and people is under our control.  Our attitudes and thoughts accepted as “truth” drives our positive/negative experiences.

Attitudes and beliefs are like clothing.  If we are conscious of them being dirty or the wrong color we can change them to benefit us.  In the morning, improve your mood by doing something relaxing and calming before starting your day (clean clothing).  Inspect your thoughts and emotions (your perspective for the day -accessories).  Ask yourself, who would I be today without this thought?  What changes will I notice if I forgive someone?  What emotion can I express cleanly in person or in mediation to clear myself?

In the context of Tending to Your Garden within, it is important to be aware of our thoughts and associated feelings.  Questioning our thoughts and processing our emotions (not bottling them up) will increase the chances of enjoying our day with less drama and suffering.  The following poem describes this concept further.

Wardrobe Change

Buzz, Buzz, Buzz.

The alarm is going off.

It is time to get dressed.

A huge wardrobe with many

clothes and accessories.

What shirt will I wear?

Anger, grief, apathy, pride, courage, acceptance, reason

or love?

What shoes will I step into?

Victim, martyr

or co-creator?

What glasses will I wear?

Rose colored, dark

or clear?

So many choices ….

Copyright @ 2011 by Shervin Hojat

Tend To Your Garden Within